Last year, a prison in the Philippians started doing dances to popular American songs, like Thriller and Soulja Boy….now they’ve done a dance to Flo Rida’s “Low”. 

 I wonder where they got the idea from....

B93.7 artist Katy Perry-the chick that sings “I Kissed A Girl” is on Warped Tour this summer…she showed up at a Denny’s (that’s a classy Waffle House if you’ve never been there) in Charlotte to eat and bring people their Moons Over My Hammy….I’m not sure they realized/cared who she was…..

Someone, I’m guessing from the south, “invented” french fried bacon on a stick….wrapped in french fries.  I’ve already had to eat 3 packs of Tums in writing this blog.

Another obligitory bacon picture…

 If you watched the latest Bachelorette season where Deanna picked the rad, Matthew McConaughey-like snowboarder Jesse….this might wreck your day.

I don’t wish bad things on people, but the Bachelor/Bachelorette finalists don’t seem to have the greatest of track records when it comes to what they call “love”….(TV producers call it “ratings”).

Allegedly Jesse had a girlfriend when he went on the show and the brilliant thinking behind it was that Jesse wanted to be a star.  My wife already made a t-shirt with his face on it….ok, it hasn’t gotten that far, but she’s a fan.

When Jesse got deeper into the show and was in the top 3, he supposedly broke up with his real life girlfriend by text. 

Deanna is the victim here, but she was all ga-ga during the finale, saying “We’re soooo in love…we’re getting married”. Big suprise. 

Deanna-if you need a good divorce lawyer in a couple months and ABC won’t pay for it,  I know a guy who got me a settlement when I chipped a tooth at the county fair’s gravel eating contest.

Plus, I got a pretty cool “You’re #1″ trophy.  They don’t give those out to just anyone.

I have great memories of going to Chuck E. Cheese as a kid….I had no friends so I watched the house band, Rocka Fire Explosion, sing an array of kid hits.

I guess they’re going after a new audience…

There’s a number to save you when you’re out at the club, a blind date, or a family reunion.  It’s the B93.7 Rejection Line: 864.241.4378

This guy….Dmitri….apparently did not get the message that he got rejected.  Listen to both part I and II. It will make you want to change your name if it’s Dmitri.

You should probably change it anyway.

 So remember a couple days ago when I said I was getting rid of cable in exchange for a gym membership?

That really didn’t work out like I wanted….

You see, since we moved to our new house, I now get a bunch of extra channels and HBO w/the On Demand thing for $10 more a month.  Now I don’t have to rent movies….I started watching the John Adams miniseries w/Paul Giamatti.

That’s how I spent 5 hours of my 4th of July….but at least I was learning more about our country’s beginnings.  I had to stop watching to go to the fireworks in downtown Greenville.

Also, my leg was falling asleep after not moving for 5 hours.

Anyway, I’d highly reccomend watching John Adams…it makes you appreciate this amazing country that we live in.  I still have the last 2 parts to watch, and I’m giddy like a nerd.

In fact, I think I am a nerd.

Even though I’m the fatty, my wife and I have decided to get rid of our $52/month cable bill and spend that on a gym membership.  Great idea, right? They do have TV at the gym, but the lazy part of my mind is coming up with some pretty good excuses not to go.

 Me: I need to lose weight so my stomach doesn’t jiggle when I brush my teeth.

My mind: Scrubs is on.

Me: I’ve already seen this episode.

My mind: Shut up and watch TV chubby.

Me: Ok.

Happy 4th! It’s just joe. While you’re out and enjoying the day off, I’ll be packing my sandals and heading up to worcester, mass for a few days to hang with the fam. I invited dino, but he says he’d rather drown in Lake Hartwell then to vacation with me…

Any who, enjoy your long weekend and be safe! I leave you with 3 easy tips for you to enjoy celebrating our country’s independence:

1.  Don’t hold any bottle rockets while lighting

2.  Share the wine coolers with aunt paula. the woman likes to drink..

3.  SPF 40. don’t be a hero by just using oil. your peeling skin will thank you.   

Cheers!